menwomen

One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment, killing him instantly. She was brought before the court on a charge of murder.…

A taxi driver, driving a Mercedes-Benz, picked up a rather simple looking fellow at the airport one day. When the gentleman got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front was for. The driver replied, “Why, it’s for lining it up at people so you can…

One day a little boy and a little girl are outside playing together and they get into an argument. The little boy holds up an army man and says ” I bet you don’t have one of these!” The little girl finds her army man and holds it up “Yes I do!” she says in…

A man was entering a store when he noticed a sign out by the window saying that there was a contest. He decided to join and went to the counter, the clerk had left and the man saw a piece of paper on the counter. He picked it up, and said, Answers to the Contest:…

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have…

Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women… 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

A few rules for what women can and cannot wear at a private pool. 1) Thongs are encouraged… however only if certain conditions are met. 1A) There must be a direct correlation to the amount of total square inches of skin, to the total amount of square inches of bathing suit. In other words, if…

Guys were sitting around a bar talking about things they bet on. A woman down at the end of the bar says, “I bet on things!” The bartender says, “Oh Yeah! What do you bet on?” Woman, “Most anything.” bartender, “Like what for instance?” Woman, “See that wall over there? I bet I can pee…

This Is From A Florida Newspaper… A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door…

A small boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves. The lad asked, “What is this, father?” The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, “I have no idea what…

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have…

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. “Tell me,” she asked the rather elderly salesman, “is there anything special I’ll have to do to take care of this ring?” With a…