menwomen

Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult voices? Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karen, apparently…

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer…

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!” The cop asked, “What’s he like?” The little boy replied, “Jack Daniels and women with big tits.”

I know this isn’t really a joke but I thought it was so funny that I wanted to share it with everyone… 1. In the company of feminists, intercourse should be referred to as: a) Lovemaking b) Screwing c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 2. You should make love to a woman for…

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, “Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later that night, about 2 o’clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had…

Grow some dope… plant a man.

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can’t stand it any more, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that…

A heavy-set woman goes into a drug store and asks for talcum powder. The bowlegged clerk says, “Walk this way,” and the woman answers, “If I could walk that way I would not need talcum powder!”

A man has just been in a car accident and has severe brain damage. So his sister is called in to take care of his medical decisions. First off, the doctor decides the man needs a new brain since his is so badly damaged. So they need to go find a brain for the transplant.…

You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don’t you? The three wise WOMEN would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the Baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and given practical gifts.

What a woman says… This place is a mess! C’mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now! What a man hears… blah blah blah blah blah C’MON! YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!…

One day a man and a woman were driving and they get into a terrible collision with each other. Both cars are wrecked beyond recognition, but they both crawl out of the wreckage unhurt. The woman says, “In a terrible accident…both of us are alive and, well, this must be a sign from God!” The…