menwomen

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everyjoke wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement – I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make…

A man was in a terrible accident, and his “manhood” was mangled and torn from his joke. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for “small”, $6,500 for…

A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with “1 John 4:18” which reads, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake, “John 4:18” “For you…

My Dad is great at raising kids, if he can remember which are his.

One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Wilson, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Wilson noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw…

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then…

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?” He thought this was a great…

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, “God, please give me the strength to cross the river.” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about…

Once upon a time, there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man’s head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet. “Hello?” she cried…but no answer. “Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder, but still no answer…. Now the female brain cell…

As we all prepare to start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so important New Year’s Resolutions. Here is my list of recent years’ resolutions and the revised ones for 2006. Resolution #1 2003: I will try to be a better husband to Lisa. 2004: I will not leave Lisa.…

A women said to her boyfriend “Oh, honey… are we doing anything this weekend?” Her boyfriend on the other side of the room said “Yeah, of course” The woman said “Oh, honey. That’s great! What are we doing?” “Sunday… it’s just you, me, the T.V., and that big comfy couch!” he said. “Oh, honey… does…

“An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he…