menwomen

Eve, in the Garden of Eden, called out, “Lord, I have a problem.” And the Lord said, “What’s the matter, Eve?” “I know You created me and this beautiful garden. But I’m lonely – and I’m sick of eating apples.” “Well, in that case,” replied the Almighty, “I’ll create a man for you.” “What’s a…

WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?” HUSBAND: “Definitely not!” WIFE: “Why not – don’t you like being married?” HUSBAND: “Of course I do.” WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?” HUSBAND: “Okay, I’d get married again.” WIFE: “You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).” HUSBAND: (makes audible…

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizeable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think us women are week, dumb, cantankerous…or what?” “Not at…

Bill pilled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” “What makes you say that?” the bartender inquired. “Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have…

A good marriage would be between a blind woman, and a deaf man.

I have the typical observant wife. One evening after dinner, she handed me a bottle of that Rogaine hair restorer. I told her while I was indeed starting to thin out some, I didn’t really think I needed hair restorer yet. She said, “Oh. It’s not for you, it’s for your secretary, she seems to…

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. “Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the…

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you…

A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ”If you were my husband I would poison your drink.” The man replied, ”If you were my wife I would drink it.”

Holiday Banana Bread: Ingredients: 2 laughing eyes, 2 loving arms, 2 well shaped legs, 2 firm milk containers, 1 fur-lined mixing bowl, 1 large banana Instructions: 1 – look into laughing eyes and hold loving arms. 2 – Spread well shaped legs slowly. 3 – Squeeze & massage milk containers until the fur-lined mixing bowl…

Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

Louis was talking to his friend Pete. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my Becky,” he said, “and there’s nothing Becky wouldn’t do for me, and that’s how we go through life – doing nothing for each other.”