menwomen

Wife: Will you love me when I’m old and ugly? Husband: Darling, of course I do…

Dear John, I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled and then it broke down about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband’s help. When I got home, I couldn’t…

Special Cheesecake One of my co-workers decided it was time to shed some excess weight. She took her new diet so seriously that she even changed her driving route to avoid her favorite bakery. One morning, however, she arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheesecake. We all scolded her, but her smile remained cherubic. “This…

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the students, one by one – “John, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?” “Just a minute, I have to go piss.” The teacher replied “That…

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they’re actually in control. 2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of “need” is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game. 3. Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the…

A lonely wife brought a man she had just met at a bar home to her bedroom one evening when she thought her husband was out of town. They immediately tore each other’s clothes off and started going at it. She sat up quickly in bed as she heard the key in the lock. “Quick!”…

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving. They’d be wrong, but you could still use them.

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle? If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw…

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. “How much do they run?” he asked the clerk. “That depends,” said the salesman. “They run from $2.00 to $2,000.” “Let’s see the $2.00 model,” he said. The clerk put the device around the man’s neck. “You…

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the “woo” sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to…

Ethel and Bunty were getting just a little bored in the senior citizens’ home, when Bunty had an idea. “I bet you $100 that you won’t streak round the garden, Ethel.” “You have got a bet,” replies Ethel, so she disrobes and sets off round the garden. Tom and Bob were enjoying a relaxing time…

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your…