menwomen

Here’s how a man evolves directly following marriage. The Love Word: After 6 weeks: I love you, I love you, I love you! After 6 months: Of course, I love you. After 6 years: GOD, if I didn’t love you, then why do you think I proposed? Back from Work: After 6 weeks: Honey, I’m…

A guy receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the upper corner of the stadium; he’s closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter he sees through his binoculars an empty seat…

There was a tailor in a little village who was known to brutally attack and torture his wife by clobbering her head with a club and stab her with needles. The villagers decided that they should bring the tailor to justice, so they arrested him and took him to the village elders. The elders believed…

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home wearing only a flimsy negligee. As she walked, she would flip up her nightgown at people and say, “Supersex!!” She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, “Supersex.” He sat silently…

It’s my wife’s birthday today so I went out earlier in the week and deliberately got her a present that I knew she’d hate. True to form she opened it, took one look and said, “What the fuck would I want with an xbox? I’m going to take this back to the shop and ask…

Jason showed his buddy the beautiful diamond ring he had bought his girlfriend for her birthday. “I thought she wanted a four-wheel-drive vehicle,” ventured his friend. “She did,” Jason said. “But where am I going to find a fake Jeep?”

A man asked a woman,”Will you marry me?” The woman replied,”No.” They both lived happily ever after!

The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. “How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?” “Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat and…

My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street. “Oh, that’s terrible” “Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly in convulsions.”

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: “Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?” The hubby replied: “Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.”

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone right now. She’s hitting the…