menwomen

A guy’s on the electric chair. The warden’s just about to pull the switch, when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, “Do you have any last requests?” The guy says, “(hic) Yeah… (hic) could you please do (hic) could you please do something to scare me?”

Given m = money, e = evil, t = time and w = women, prove that women are evil (women = evil) 1. m = e ^ (1/2) (money is the root of all evil) 2. t = m (time is money) 3. w = t * m (women are the product of time and…

1. You could care less who Britney Spears is sleeping with. 2. You understand the differences between 27 brands of imported chardonnay. 3. You can call anyone “honey” including pets. 4. You know someone who was in the emergency room with Richard Gere the gerbil. 5. You understand the immense importance of quality lighting. 6.…

This man comes home feeling pretty frisky after partying with his buddies half the night. He walks into the bedroom where his wife is still waiting up for him. He takes off all of his clothes and says, “Baby, you are looking at 200 pounds of dynamite.” His wife opens the window and yells, “Everyjoke…

Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The guys go along there, only to be told by receptionist at the hotel that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not happy, but as it is…

When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled ‘All Men Are Idiots.’ Then she will get on with her life. A male has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the breakup, at 3 am on a Sunday…

A boy came back from school and noticed that his father was wearing his weeding ring at the wrong finger. He asked his father, “Why are you wearing your ring on the wrong hand and finger?” And the father said,”Because I married the wrong wife.”

One day a pretty lady was driving through the desert and her car broke down. In the distance, she sees an indian riding a horse. He rides over to her and offers her a lift to the nearest gas station and she happily accepts. On the way to the gas station, the indian would let…

Janet’s son, Trevor, lived in Georgia with his mom. Over the summer, Trevor went to California. On his way back to home, he decided to stop at an “adult video” store. The manager asked if he had an account. He admitted he didn’t, and asked to start one. The manager asked for his phone number…

Mr. Smith wanted to become a teacher in the worst way, but the only job he could find was as an instructor at an all female college teaching sex education. His wife was a very jealous woman so Mr. Smith decided he would tell his wife that he would be teaching sailing at this college…

A woman, calling a local hospital, said, “Hello, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. I’d like to find out if the patient is getting better, or doing as expected, or is getting worse”. The voice on the other end of the line said, “What is the patient’s…

This old couple is ready to go to sleep so the old man lays on the bed but the old woman lays on the floor. The old man asks, “Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”