menwomen

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the “woo” sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to…

Ethel and Bunty were getting just a little bored in the senior citizens’ home, when Bunty had an idea. “I bet you $100 that you won’t streak round the garden, Ethel.” “You have got a bet,” replies Ethel, so she disrobes and sets off round the garden. Tom and Bob were enjoying a relaxing time…

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your…

After everything I say I want you to say “I am a Man.” You go to a bar. I am a man You see a girl and go meet her I am a man You take her home I am a man You get in bed with her I am a man She whispers in…

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved upon it?” asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied, “No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if…

“Go ask your mother.” Really means…. “I am incapable of making a decision.” “You know how bad my memory is.” Really means…. “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”…

My friend’s husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores. One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet, that read: “Martha Stewart doesn’t live here.” The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper. The note read, “Neither does Bob…

Think of the beat of the song walking in a winter wonderland while you are reading this… Lacy things — the wife is missin’, Didn’t ask — her permission, I’m wearin’ her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin’ ’round in women’s underwear. In the store — there’s a teddy, Little straps — like spaghetti, It holds…

CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT – YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN: 1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are. 2. You’ve just had to get someone to help you pull your undies up in the toilets. 3. You suddenly decide you want to start a fight. 4. In your…

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. “I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.…

What is the name of a naked woman lying between two naked men? Sharin Peters

Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was as pretty as could be. This widow had a grown up daughter, Who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law, And changed…