menwomen

Man: Why do you have a steering wheel in your crotch? Other Man: My wife was driving me nuts

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn’t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, “Great, so now you’re cheating on me with a bald woman!” The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, “She’s not only…

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Mr Finnegan. “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant. “She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said the Irishman.

Man A remarkable animal whose head swells when you pat his back. Woman Creature who acts nice to you because she doesn’t like you, or mean, because she does. People Some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what’s happened. Optimist Girl who regards a bulge as a curve.…

A husband and wife are walking down the High Street one evening, when the wife saw a beautiful diamond necklace in the jeweller’s shop window. “Oh,” she exclaims, “I really would like that! Do you think you could get it for me?” With that, he looks around and finally locates a brick, which he promptly…

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful teenage daughters and decided to try one last time for a son. After months, the wife finally got pregnant and after nine months, bore a healthy baby boy. The elated father rushed to the nursery to check on his infant. He was horrified to see the ugliest child he…

“Honey, the car won’t start, but I know what the problem is,” Kathy said. Chuck asked her what it was, and she told him there was water in the carburettor. Chuck thought for a moment, then said, “You know, I don’t mean to be offensive, but you don’t know the carburetor from the accelerator.” “No,…

“Yes” = No “No” = Yes “Maybe” = No “I’m sorry” = You’ll be sorry “We need” = I want “It’s your decision” = The correct decision should be obvious by now “Sure… go ahead”  = I don’t want you to “I’m not upset”  = Of course I’m upset, you moron! “We need to talk” …

Q. What did God say after creating Adam A. I must be able to do better than that. Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes. Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow. Q.…

A handsome mid-age couple, John and Gail, like living in Texas. Even though they have lived in Texas most of their married life John never had a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale at Sheplers one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says…

Carol’s husband, Arnie, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was a woman’s work! One evening Carol arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table…

Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They were sitting down on a bench to rest when they heard voices coming from a secluded spot. Suddenly Mrs. Murphy realized that a young man was about to propose. Not wanting to eavesdrop at such an intimate moment, she nudged…