menwomen

After a party, one man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 o’clock in the morning?” the officer asked. “I’m going to a lecture,” the man said.…

Hopeless Romantic. Seeking: Filthy Whore

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman, all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman said – “I walked into my daughter’s room and saw a razor on the floor. I didn’t know she was old enough to shave.” The Irishman said – “That’s nothing; I walked into my daughter’s room and saw…

An elderly couple was watching the news when the man farts. The man asks “Was that me, or you?”

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it.

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new girlfriend’s birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he went to Debenham’s and bought a…

A man, traveling by plane, was in urgent need of a restroom facility but each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies’ room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons. There next to the paper roll were four buttons marked:…

One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage. While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up…

A man was sitting next to the Pope on a cross-country flight. The Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. He turned to the man and asked “Do you know a four-letter word for ‘woman’ that ends in U-N-T?” The man thought for a minute and said “Aunt.” “Oh yes, of course,” the Pope replied. “Do…

When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy. When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see who’s the handsome dude behind him. But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down…

Woman’s guide to sex: Lay there and pretend to enjoy the experience and when it is done tell your partner it was the best you ever had. Man’s guide to sex” In, Out repeat if necessary!

One lesbian said to the other, “I’ll just be Frank with you,” …and the other said, “Ok, you be Frank today and I’ll be Frank tommorrow.”