menwomen

After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful? God: So you will always…

These are all from my experiences. That’s why they’re funny. 1. You build a miniature boat out of a hostess box, water bottles, and duct tape, and float it down a river seven times. 2. You buy a headlamp, move it in circles on the wall, and say it follows wherever my head goes. 3.…

A man and his wife are in the bed watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” He turns to her and says, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. He replies, “Is that your final answer?” “Yes,” she said. He then replies, “I’d like to phone a friend.” That’s the last thing he…

1. Happy aniversery! 2. Do I look fat in this? 3. Heres 100 dollars! Buy whatever you want. 4. I think im pregnant. 5. Do you wanna come shopping with me and my friends? We’re going to Victoria’s Secret. 6. I’m cheating on you with 1 other man and 2 women. 7. Hunney… can we…

Once there were twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John’s wife died the same day that Joe’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You…

“You could use your old computer to shop for a new computer online. But that seems kind of cruel, doesn’t it? Like asking your dying spouse if he or she has any cute friends.” – Scott Ostler

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want any pain killers because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly…

1.How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 2.Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 3.Let me smell that shirt-don’t worry, its good for another week. 4.Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed him and walk him every day. 5.That outfit isn’t sexy…

Joe: I got a problem. Ed: What’s the matter? Joe: Women. I just don’t understand them. Ed: Do you understand your TV? Joe: No. Ed: So what’s the problem?

A guy is sitting in a bar with his friends bitching about going home to his wife. His friends ask him why he doesn’t want to go home to such a fine looking woman and he replies… “Well, the problem is that she has Gonnorrhea” So what say the friends, flip her over. “Well, she…

The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I promised my husband that I would be home by midnight. The hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., drunk to the gills, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the…

A young priest has just left the seminary and been sent to his first parish to work alongside an old experienced priest Father Brown. When he arrives the old priest welcomes him with open arms, explaining that he has been working alone and hasn’t had a day off in years. He asks the new priest…