menwomen

For those of you that remember the old Mitch Miller song “Sweet Violets” This is a crude take off on it… (p.s. – this is similar to Gizzers ‘Sweet Violets’ #604 but different, funnier and possibly cruder!) There was a young farmer who lived on a rock He liked to count sheep while he fingered…

Joe and Bill are out fishing and sipping beer while discussing football and NASCAR. All of a sudden Joe says, “I think I’m gonna divorce my wife. She hasn’t spoken to me in over 6 months.” Bill sips his beer and says, “You better think it over, women like that are hard to find.”

At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, “And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children.” As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, “You see, my wife…

Mr. and Mrs. Wong are a married couple who live in China. After being married for three years, they decided to have a baby. They ended up having a baby girl with mental disabilities. They named her ‘Somting Wong’.

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?” She glanced at him casually and replied, “You’re never home!”

A very old man and a woman are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The man starts crying quietly. Touched by the mans sensitive side, she goes over to him, hugs him, and asks him whats the matter. The man says, “Remember when we were 15 and your daddy who was a sheriff caught us? And…

Do you know why single women can’t fart? Because they don’t get assholes untill they get married.

For all you Blonde ladies out there. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to…

At 85 years of age, Wally married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.…

Two old pilot friends in the Air Force were talking about the day’s activities: Jenkins (first pilot): Did you hear? Captain Smith jumped out of a B-1 bomber, without a parachute, and he wasn’t hurt! Randy (Second Pilot): That’s impossible! The fall would have killed him! Jenkins (shakes his head): The bomber hadn’t taken off…

“So,” Jane asked the detective she had hired. “Did you trail my husband?” “Yes, ma’am, I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment.” A big smile crossed Jane’s face. “Aha! I’ve got him!” she said gloating, “Is there any doubt what he was doing?” “No ma’am,”…