menwomen

All women are emotional drag queens, and i married their queen

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a beautiful, independent, and self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped onto the princess’ lap and said, “Elegant Lady, I was once…

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them. What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A $100 bill. How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Let her do the dishes in the dark. What do toys and womens breasts have in common? They were…

A man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man…

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband’s description. “Mother of six,” he would…

One day, Harry and Sarah were having a petty argument. After shouting back and forth, Sarah finally says, “Let’s make a deal. To end this argument, you admit that I am right and I will admit that I am wrong.” Harry thought for a moment, agreed, and asked her to go first. Sarah replied, “I’m…

A married man and his secretary are having an affair. They decide to leave the office early one day and go to the secretary’s apartment for an afternoon of lovemaking. They fall asleep and don’t wake up until 8 o’clock that night. They quickly get dressed and the man asks his secretary to take his…

The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of Danny’s…

There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and offered the hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started advancing on her when she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. “It’s o.k.,” he replied, “it’s written in…

There is an old lady driving on Interstate 22. A police car pulls her over and explains to the lady she is going 22 mph. She said, ”I know, isn’t that the speed limit?” The officer said, ”No, this is Interstate 22”. The police officer looks in the back seat and there are three children…

Elsie walked into a print lab to have a photo of her deceased husband copied and retouched. She said to the technician, “I have always hated the hat that my husband is wearing in the photo. Could you please retouch the hat out?” “Of course,” said the technician; “what colour hair did your husband have?”…