menwomen

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend – “My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the…

A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, “If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. He was astonished. He went on, and after a while he…

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: Feeling the Baby Move First child: I placed my hand on my wife’s tummy every chance I could for two months waiting for that…

HIS and HERS Road Trip HERS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit. 2. Opens window 3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer 4. Arrives at destination presently. HIS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one. 2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right. 3. Drives an extra…

A young woman had just purchased her dream car, a new Ferrari convertible, and was having trouble tuning her radio to a station she wanted. She returned to the dealership and confronted the salesman, complaining about the radio. “Miss,” the salesperson said, “this is a very sophisticated radio. There is no requirement to use the…

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that?!” “Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my…

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini – “I want to feel your breasts” he exclaimed. “Get away from me, you crazy old man” she replied. “I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars,” he says. “Twenty dollars, are you nuts!?…

If men and women had buttons, a man’s button panel would look like… A vacuum – “On” and “Off” switch A woman’s panel would look like… An airplane. So many buttons…ahhh…where’s the mute?!!!

An old Indian is standing on the corner, when an attractive young woman passes by. The Indian raises his hand in greeting, and says, “Chance!” The same thing happens several days in a row. The woman walks past and the old Indian raises his hand and says, “Chance!” Finally, she can’t ignore it any longer,…

Bob was talking to Ted, an old friend. Bob: My wife drives like lightning! Ted: She drives fast? Bob: No, She hits trees!

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: He heard the chicken was a slut. Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends. Q: Why is it that an archaeologist is the best man to have as a husband? A: The older you…

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked…