menwomen

One day Bob (a boy) went to Sally (a beautiful girl). Bob told her, “Sal, Jack (a boy) wants you.” She replied, “I know.” They stand in silence for a while. Bob finally said, “I mean he needs your help.” “Oh.”

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a l lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check…

THINGY: female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra VULNERABLE: female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION: female: The sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Leaving a note before suddenly taking off for the weekend with…

A guy’s on the electric chair. The warden’s just about to pull the switch, when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, “Do you have any last requests?” The guy says, “(hic) Yeah… (hic) could you please do (hic) could you please do something to scare me?”

Given m = money, e = evil, t = time and w = women, prove that women are evil (women = evil) 1. m = e ^ (1/2) (money is the root of all evil) 2. t = m (time is money) 3. w = t * m (women are the product of time and…

1. You could care less who Britney Spears is sleeping with. 2. You understand the differences between 27 brands of imported chardonnay. 3. You can call anyone “honey” including pets. 4. You know someone who was in the emergency room with Richard Gere the gerbil. 5. You understand the immense importance of quality lighting. 6.…

This man comes home feeling pretty frisky after partying with his buddies half the night. He walks into the bedroom where his wife is still waiting up for him. He takes off all of his clothes and says, “Baby, you are looking at 200 pounds of dynamite.” His wife opens the window and yells, “Everyjoke…

Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The guys go along there, only to be told by receptionist at the hotel that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not happy, but as it is…

When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled ‘All Men Are Idiots.’ Then she will get on with her life. A male has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the breakup, at 3 am on a Sunday…

A boy came back from school and noticed that his father was wearing his weeding ring at the wrong finger. He asked his father, “Why are you wearing your ring on the wrong hand and finger?” And the father said,”Because I married the wrong wife.”

One day a pretty lady was driving through the desert and her car broke down. In the distance, she sees an indian riding a horse. He rides over to her and offers her a lift to the nearest gas station and she happily accepts. On the way to the gas station, the indian would let…

Janet’s son, Trevor, lived in Georgia with his mom. Over the summer, Trevor went to California. On his way back to home, he decided to stop at an “adult video” store. The manager asked if he had an account. He admitted he didn’t, and asked to start one. The manager asked for his phone number…