menwomen

A man into a whorehouse. Once in the room with the prostitute, he puts $50 on the table and drops his pants. The hooker almost faints; the guy has a 18 inch cock. She says, “Hold on pal, I’ll lick it, I’ll suck it, but you’re not sticking that in me.” The man pulls up…

“I say! Look here!” said an angry member of the grouse-shooting party. “You nearly shot my wife!” “I’m terribly sorry,” replied the offender, “shall I try again?”

The true meanings of some common male phrases: “I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “It’s a guy thing.” Really means… “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and…

A husband and wife are getting ready to go to bed. The husband says, “I thought we’d have sex tonight.” The wife replies, “No, I’m too tired tonight.” The husband says, “Is that your final answer?” The wife says, “Yes, it is, thank you.” The husband says, “OK, then, I’d like to phone a friend.”

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, “Mom, I have something to tell you: I’m gay.” His mother made…

To keep your marriage brimming With love in the marriage cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up. – Nash

HER DIARY Sunday night – I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn’t…

A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first girl sent…

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting. It seems that in England, they had a men’s club, Bachelors’ Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage. The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law…

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of…

What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.