menwomen

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. “I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.…

What is the name of a naked woman lying between two naked men? Sharin Peters

Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was as pretty as could be. This widow had a grown up daughter, Who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law, And changed…

What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell…

Woman: Honey, do you love me? Man: Ask me no questions, i’ll tell you no lies! Woman: Do I look fat in this? Man: Ask me no questions, i’ll tell you no lies! Woman: Did you enjoy the meal? Man: Ask me no questions, i’ll tell you no lies! Woman: Do you see the wrinkles…

How Men Are Like Dogs * Both take up too much space on the bed * Both have irrational fears about vacuuming * Neither tells you what’s bothering him * Neither of them notices when you get your hair cut * Neither understands what you see in cats

Here’s how a man evolves directly following marriage. The Love Word: After 6 weeks: I love you, I love you, I love you! After 6 months: Of course, I love you. After 6 years: GOD, if I didn’t love you, then why do you think I proposed? Back from Work: After 6 weeks: Honey, I’m…

A guy receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the upper corner of the stadium; he’s closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter he sees through his binoculars an empty seat…

There was a tailor in a little village who was known to brutally attack and torture his wife by clobbering her head with a club and stab her with needles. The villagers decided that they should bring the tailor to justice, so they arrested him and took him to the village elders. The elders believed…

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home wearing only a flimsy negligee. As she walked, she would flip up her nightgown at people and say, “Supersex!!” She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, “Supersex.” He sat silently…

It’s my wife’s birthday today so I went out earlier in the week and deliberately got her a present that I knew she’d hate. True to form she opened it, took one look and said, “What the fuck would I want with an xbox? I’m going to take this back to the shop and ask…