menwomen

The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of Danny’s…

There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and offered the hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started advancing on her when she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. “It’s o.k.,” he replied, “it’s written in…

There is an old lady driving on Interstate 22. A police car pulls her over and explains to the lady she is going 22 mph. She said, ”I know, isn’t that the speed limit?” The officer said, ”No, this is Interstate 22”. The police officer looks in the back seat and there are three children…

Elsie walked into a print lab to have a photo of her deceased husband copied and retouched. She said to the technician, “I have always hated the hat that my husband is wearing in the photo. Could you please retouch the hat out?” “Of course,” said the technician; “what colour hair did your husband have?”…

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend – “My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the…

A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, “If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. He was astonished. He went on, and after a while he…

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: Feeling the Baby Move First child: I placed my hand on my wife’s tummy every chance I could for two months waiting for that…

HIS and HERS Road Trip HERS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit. 2. Opens window 3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer 4. Arrives at destination presently. HIS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one. 2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right. 3. Drives an extra…

A young woman had just purchased her dream car, a new Ferrari convertible, and was having trouble tuning her radio to a station she wanted. She returned to the dealership and confronted the salesman, complaining about the radio. “Miss,” the salesperson said, “this is a very sophisticated radio. There is no requirement to use the…

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that?!” “Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my…

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini – “I want to feel your breasts” he exclaimed. “Get away from me, you crazy old man” she replied. “I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars,” he says. “Twenty dollars, are you nuts!?…

If men and women had buttons, a man’s button panel would look like… A vacuum – “On” and “Off” switch A woman’s panel would look like… An airplane. So many buttons…ahhh…where’s the mute?!!!