menwomen

A king and a queen were ruling a kingdom together, but they weren’t friends at all. The king hated the queen, and the queen hated the king. The queen had a disorder, which had no name. When you asked her a two-way question (e.g. true or false) she will answer the word she heard last,…

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep. One who’s handsome, smart and strong, And doesn’t mind admitting when he’s wrong, One who thinks before he speaks, When he promises to call, he won’t wait two weeks. I pray that he is gainfully employed, And when I…

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

What does a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.

Bernie was invited to his friend’s home for dinner. Morris, the host, called his wife by many endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, “That is really nice. After all these years, you still call your wife those pet names.” Morris hung his head and…

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, “Anyone who can guess what is in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!” An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?” Bessie thinks a minute and says, “Close enough.”

Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old”? Well, here is some karma for that. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a…

One day a man was sitting in his favorite chair watching football when his wife walked up behind him and knocked him over the head with a frying pan. When he woke he asked, “What the hell was that for?!?” “I found this piece of paper in your pants while I was doing your laundry…

Before – You take my breath away. After – I feel like I’m suffocating. Before – Twice a night. After – Twice a month. Before – She loves the way I take control of a situation. After – She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac. Before – Ricky & Lucy. After – Fred & Ethel.…

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing lady. Conversation broke out and turned erotic. The lady proposed, “If each of you would give me $1, I would show you my legs.” The men, charmed by her beauty, handed over the money. The lady pulled her dress up a little to show…

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a…

-Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot. -Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. -Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. -Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it. -Good girls wax their floors. -Bad girls wax their bikini lines. -Good girls blush during…