menwomen
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Reducing Salon
in JokesA tearful woman phoned a reducing salon to wail that her husband had just given her a lovely present and she couldn’t get into it. The operator gave her an appointment and added, “Don’t worry, madam, we’ll have you wearing that dress in no time.” “Dress?” the matron sobbed. “It’s a Porsche!”
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Why Santa Can’t be a Man
in JokesMen can’t pack a bag. Men wouldn’t be caught dead wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened… having to be seen with all those elves. Men don’t answer their mail. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.” Men…
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10 Ways to Tell if You have PMS
in JokesThe following are 10 ways to tell if you have PMS, 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You’re using your cellular phone…
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It is Important
in JokesIt is important – 1. It is important to find a woman who is a good cook and housekeeper. 2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money. 3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex regularly. 4. It is important that these three women never meet.
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Quotes From Famous Mothers III
in JokesNAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!” CUSTER’S MOTHER: “Now, George, remember what I told you – don’t go biting off more than you can chew!” ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t you…
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Top Ten Reasons You Know If You Have PMS
in Jokes1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. Your using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving?…
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Lost Fortune
in JokesA wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style. “If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.” “Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to make love, we can…
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If You Love Someone…
in JokesShakespeare: If you love someone, Set her free …. If she ever comes back, she’s yours, If she doesn’t, here’s the poison, suicide yourself for her. Optimist: If you love someone, Set her free …. Don’t worry, she will come back. Suspicious: If you love someone, Set her free …. If she ever comes back,…
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A Man’s Guide to Surviving Valentines Day
in JokesThe following is a basic guide to Valentine’s Day survival for men, which was faxed to Robert Kirby, The Salt Lake Tribune, by the nice ladies down at “Romance Anonymous,” formerly known as “Men Are Pigs But We Can’t Kill Them.” STEP ONE: The minimum requirement is to let the woman know you care. The…
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Good Computer
in JokesBecause I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends’ and relatives’ birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on. I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do…
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100 Camels For Wife
in JokesUS tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, “I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.” After a long silence, the husband says, “She’s not for sale.” The indignant wife says, “What took you so long to answer?” The husband replied, “I was trying…