menwomen

Man: Haven’t we been on a couple dates before? Woman: Couldn’t have been. I don’t make the same mistake twice.

15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR DAUGHTERS: 1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them…

As a senior at Xxxxxx State University in Mixxxxxxx, I often engage women psychology majors in heated discussions about male-female relationships. Once, my friend Shelly and I got into a hot debate about whether men or women make the larger sacrifice of their respective gender characteristics when they get married. To my surprise, Shelly agreed…

CLASSIFIED ERRORS, from a small-town daily: (Monday) FOR SALE – R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 555-0707 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap. (Tuesday) NOTICE – We regret having erred in R. D. Jones’ ad yesterday. It should have read: One sewing machine for…

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order. The man says, “I’ll have a beer” and turns to the ostrich. “What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too” says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says “That will be $3.40…

What was the last thing NASA heard before apollo 13 crashed? Let her drive.

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She said to the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby brooch and Rolex watch.” “But you aren’t wearing any of those things,” said the artist. “I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m…