menwomen

What she says: Any ring is fine, as long as I have you. What she’s thinking: No diamond? How cheap! I’ll make his life a living hell! I’ll put poison in his coffee! I’ll cut his brake lines! Get her a diamond, idiot!!

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and how the letters are used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! {A} Almost Boobs . . . {B} barely there. {C} Can’t…

Strategic responses to the ever-dangerous “Do I look Fat” question: “No, not to Stevie Wonder.” “No babe, you’re not fat, you’re fluffy.” “Does this tie make me look stupid?” “No hablo ingles.” “If I answer that question, my life will be in danger.” “Let me jog around to your front and take a look.” “No,…

Susan (女，抱着孩子) Vic (调侃) Vic: Finger the baby’s ass, if he kicks, he’ll be a sorcer, if he screams, he’ll be a singer, if he laughs, he’ll be a homo. Susan:(笑，然后问)What about a girl? Vic: We finger them when they over 18. …… 爆笑….

40-ish………………………………49 Adventurer………………………..Slept with all your friends Athletic…………………………….No tits Average looking………………….Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful…………………………..Pathological liar Contagious Smile………………..Does a lot of Ecstasy Educated……………………..Banged her Political Science professor Emotionally Secure……………..Medicated Feminist…………………………….Fat ball buster Free spirit………………………….Junkie Friendship first…………….Trying to live down reputation as a slut Fun………………………………..Annoying Gentle……………………………..Comatose Good Listener……………………Borderline Autistic New-Age………………………….All joke hair, all the…

One day Bob (a boy) went to Sally (a beautiful girl). Bob told her, “Sal, Jack (a boy) wants you.” She replied, “I know.” They stand in silence for a while. Bob finally said, “I mean he needs your help.” “Oh.”

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a l lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check…

THINGY: female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra VULNERABLE: female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION: female: The sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Leaving a note before suddenly taking off for the weekend with…

A guy’s on the electric chair. The warden’s just about to pull the switch, when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, “Do you have any last requests?” The guy says, “(hic) Yeah… (hic) could you please do (hic) could you please do something to scare me?”

Given m = money, e = evil, t = time and w = women, prove that women are evil (women = evil) 1. m = e ^ (1/2) (money is the root of all evil) 2. t = m (time is money) 3. w = t * m (women are the product of time and…

1. You could care less who Britney Spears is sleeping with. 2. You understand the differences between 27 brands of imported chardonnay. 3. You can call anyone “honey” including pets. 4. You know someone who was in the emergency room with Richard Gere the gerbil. 5. You understand the immense importance of quality lighting. 6.…

This man comes home feeling pretty frisky after partying with his buddies half the night. He walks into the bedroom where his wife is still waiting up for him. He takes off all of his clothes and says, “Baby, you are looking at 200 pounds of dynamite.” His wife opens the window and yells, “Everyjoke…