menwomen

A young woman asks her mother, “Mom, how many kind of penises are there?” The mother, surprised, answers, “Well, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, a man’s penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties,…

A woman hurries home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The husband says, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she says. “Just get the…

My mother has a “lead foot,” so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car. “I have never been stopped like this before,” she said to…

I was recently riding with a friend of mine. We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, “Why’d you do that?” He tells me this is how his brother drives. We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, “Why’d…

You might think that some guys are hot. Their boyfriends think that, too!

17. “I finished the Oreo’s.” 16. “Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds.” 15. “Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby.” 14. “I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever.” 13. “Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the…

A horny old trapper named Rex Liked the risks of wild porcupine sex. By incredible luck His dick never got stuck, But his nuts were just pitiful wrecks.

When I went to lunch today, I noticed this lady about 75-80 years old sitting on a bench near the food court and she was sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said: “I have a 22-year-old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then…

Q – Why is there a big “E” on top of the standard eye chart at the optometrist’s office? A – The reason is if there was a big “O” on the chart women would lie about seeing it.

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to you. 4. It is important that a man is good in bed and…

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: “Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you…

I heard you got a baby. Dad: Yes, and I am very happy. So what about the wife? Dad: She still doesn’t know.