menwomen

(This joke was copied from the “Fresh Price of Bel Air” show and are not my original jokes). 40 is the begining…. the begining of the end. 40 is the begining of life. Did I say life?… i meant gum disease!

Can a mane date the sister of his widow? No, because you can’t date when you are dead.

A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges, when she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “What time…

“You’re in incredible shape,” the doctor said. “How old are you again?” “I am 78,” said the man. “78!” remarked the doctor. “How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old.” “Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the…

One man solved his problem of too many visiting relatives by borrowing money from the rich ones and loaning it to the poor ones.

How do you know if a 500-pound man is a millionaire? (That’s 500-pound fat, not muscle.) Because he will have a totally hot, blonde, babe on his arm.

1…Silence, the final frontier – Where no woman has gone before. 2…The undiscovered side of Banking – How to make deposits. 3…Combatting the Imelda Marcos Syndrome – You don’t need new shoes everyday. 4…Learn how not to inflict your diets on other people. 5…Nag Nag Nag – how to overcome your tendency to be a…

One day an elderly couple was out for an afternoon drive and had to stop for gas. Attendant: ” Would you like me to check the oil?” Wife: “What did he say?” Husband: “He wants to know if I want the oil checked.” Attendant: “Would you like me to top up the washer fluid?” Wife:…

Men are from Mars, Women from Venus RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR: You know the book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well, here’s a prime example of that. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted). English 44A SMU Creative…

A man’s life is difficult to understand, when born he struggles to get out of the vagina and then tries the rest of his life to get in!!!

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and…

One Christmas, a parent decided that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result, their grandmother did not receive acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given. However, things were different the following year. “The children came over in person to thank me,” the grandparent told…