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Three guys, who had all died around the same time at about the same place, were waiting to take their place in Heaven. They were told by the angel that there was room for only one of them in Heaven. Their fate would be determined by the way each of them had died, so the…

14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR Pass My Shotgun Psychotic Mood Shift Perpetual Munching Spree Puffy Mid-Section People Make Me Sick Provide Me with Sweets Pardon My Sobbing Pimples May Surface Pass My Sweatpants Pissy Mood Syndrome Plainly; Men Suck Pack My Stuff Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it’s the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved. When…

You Know You’ve Turned Into a Mom When… You automatically double-knot everything you tie. You find yourself humming the barney song as you do the dishes. You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school! You actually…

Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first guy says, “My favorite position is the ‘rodeo’ position.” “What is the ‘rodeo’ position, and how do you do that?” asks the second man. The first guy explains, “Well, first you tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours,…

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs. She nudged me and whispered, “Wake up, wake up!” “What’s the matter?” I asked. “There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they’re eating…

9. Well, how ’bout that?…I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions. 8. You know, Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun? 7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car – GO CRAZY. 6. What do you mean…

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and she would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought an identical dress!…

The owner of a golf course in Knoxville, Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice minus his early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to…

This account of an aircraft accident is quoted directly from the National Transportation Safety Board report, with comments added in [brackets] for clarity. Aircraft: PIPER PA-34-200T, Registration: N47506 Injuries: 2 Fatal. The private pilot and a pilot rated passenger [two pilots] were going to practice simulated instrument flight. Witnesses observed the airplane’s right wing fail…

After she was finished with Cinderella, the fairy godmother paid a visit on another poor young girl, Minuetta. Extremely flat-chested, the woman is convinced that her life would improve if only she had large breasts. “All right,” the fairy godmother said. “How about we fix it so that every time a man says ‘pardon’ to…

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off. “Man, that…