menwomen

A man was staying over at a farmer’s house for the night. However, the farmer warned: “My daughter is sleeping in the room next door. I’m going to put a wall of eggs around her bed to make sure that you don’t go near her, understand?” The man nodded weakly, for she saw the daughter…

Every “Hormone Hostage” knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other. DANGEROUS:…

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day. Skinny people say things like “You know sometimes I forget to eat!” Now,I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys.…

Customer: “I have a big problem. You cut off my head!” Me: “I’m sorry? How did I cut off your head?” (The customer shows me an obviously self-taken picture, with the top of his head removed.) Me: “Sir, it looks like it was taken that way.” Customer: “No it wasn’t! My whole head was there…

A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband’s best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the…

A fellow was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.” His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have…

A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. “Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?” His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars.…

He v. She The family picture is on his desk – Ah, a solid, responsible family man. The family picture is on her desk – Um, her family will come before her career. His desk is cluttered – He’s obviously a hard worker and a busy man. Her desk is cluttered – She’s obviously a…

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph, with the husband behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing, but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t…

One night a couple was in their room and the woman had just performed amazing oral on her man. He asked her where she had learned how to do it like that. She than said to him, “It took some practice but your dad finally taught me how to do it right.”

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early, and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the…

For those of you that remember the old Mitch Miller song “Sweet Violets” This is a crude take off on it… (p.s. – this is similar to Gizzers ‘Sweet Violets’ #604 but different, funnier and possibly cruder!) There was a young farmer who lived on a rock He liked to count sheep while he fingered…