news
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World Revolution
in JokesMidnight Petrograd… A night watch spots a shadow trying to sneak by. “Stop! Who goes there? Documents!” The frightened person chaotically shuffles through his pockets and drops a paper. A soldier picks it up and reads slowly, with difficulty: “U.ri.ne A.na.ly.sis”… “Hmm… a foreigner, sounds like…” “A spy, looks like…. Let’s shoot him on the…
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Mt. Rushmore
in JokesDid you know that the goverment finds Native American chiefs more important than presidents? The new head on Mt. Rushmore is at least twice the size of the others. It’s the head of an Indian!
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Honecker II
in JokesEarly in the morning, Honecker arrives at his office and opens his window. He sees the sun and says: “Good morning, dear Sun!” The sun replies: “Good morning, dear Erich!” Honecker works, and then at noon he heads to the window and says: “Good day, dear Sun!” The sun replies: “Good day, dear Erich!” In…
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Jewish, Too!
in JokesA young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has…
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5 Fingers on a Hand
in Jokes“The fact that the GDR considers itself as one of the 5 technologically most advanced power of the nations may be be given to the fact that there are only 5 fingers on a hand. ” University lecture in Hungary in the 70s
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Two Hard Questions
in JokesTwo Tough Questions Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one. Question 2:…
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Presidents
in JokesPresidents on a sinking ship! Ford says: “What do we do?” Bush says: “Man the lifeboats!” Reagan says: “What lifeboats?” Carter says: “Women first!” Nixon says: “Screw the women!” Clinton says: “You think we have time?”
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Abramovich
in JokesAbramovich was sentenced to 5 years, served 10, then fortunately was paroled before he served the rest of his sentence.
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“Home Schooling”, Eh?
in JokesBellevue, WA There’s a story circulating through the Bellevue School District about the woman who called wanting information on home schooling. Both Lake Washington (Renton, WA) and Bellevue districts are noted for their support of home schoolers, and the Bellevue spokesperson was explaining procedures and what to do to the mother on the telephone. Among…
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Mugged
in JokesLate one night in the Washington D.C., a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money!” he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, “You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!” “In that case,” replied the robber, “give…