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“Comrade Stalin! This man is your exact double!” / “Shoot him!” / “Maybe we should shave off his moustache?” / “Good idea! Shave it off and then shoot him!”. (In another version, Stalin replies shortly Ili tak [lit. or so], meaning “this way is ok too”, which has become somewhat proverbial).

A little boy goes to his father one day and says, “Daddy, what is politics?” “Well,” his father replied, “let me try to explain it to you this way. Let’s say that you’re the people. I’m the breadwinner of the family so we’ll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we’ll call…

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. “Who sneezed?” (Silence.) “First row! On your feet! Shoot them!” (Applause.) “Who sneezed?” (Silence.) “Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!” (Long, loud applause.) “Who sneezed?” (Silence.) …A dejected voice in the back: “It was me” (Sobs.) Stalin leans forward: “Bless you, comrade!”

Hw does Battery reproduce? Bi pluging it into Boodler’s Giant ass!

Here is a list of some really stupid laws I’ve seen: Alaska- You can’t wake up a sleeping bear, just to take its picture. Florida-Unmarried women may not parachute on Sundays. Idaho- You can’t fish from the back of a camel. (Who has a pet camel in Idaho anyway?!?) Oklahoma-Whaling is illegal. (hint-there aren’t any…

Due to high demmand, I will not maker you wait for all 50 states to come out, instead, here is ALL OF THE 51 states of laws. Alabama • A 1950 anti-obscenity law in Irondale, Ala., prohibited any showing of anyone nude or “in a substantially nude state” except a babe in arms. • Anniston:…

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn’t for any religious constitutional reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation’s capitol. There was, however, no problem finding enough asses to fill the stable.

I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in the dark I did not do it in the park I did not do it on a date I did not ever fornicate I did not do it at a dance I did…

1. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches. 2. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number. 3. If you know how to say Matanuska, Tokositna, Kichatna, Oshetna, Bodenburg and Muktuk. 4. If you think that ketchup is one of the seven main food…

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, “Earthquake!” The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall…

3 sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten. The first one says, “I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy had eaten so much garlic I still feel sick.” The second shark says, “That’s nothing pal! I swallowed Boris Yeltsin last week and the old guy had so…

What does the government have but never uses to make life simple? Their power!