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“Comrade Brezhnev, is it true that you collect political jokes?” — “Yes” — “And how many have you collected so far?” — “Three and a half labor camps.”

A respected merchant Sevenassov wants to change his surname and asks the Tsar for permission. The Emperor writes his resolution: “Allowed to deduct two asses down”.

Major Scandal during their presidency…. Nixon: Watergate Clinton: Waterbed The President’s biggest fear…. Nixon: The Cold War Clinton: The Cold Sore Complaints toward the President….. Nixon: Carpet-Bombing Clinton: Carpet-Burns Their Vice-Presidents… Nixon: His was Greek Clinton: His is a Geek. Presidential qualities….. Nixon: Couldn’t stop Kissinger. Clinton: Couldn’t stop kissing her. Things the President couldn’t…

As governor, Bush got to act ceremonially as a state trooper for a day. While operating a speed trap, Bush pulled over a farmer. He lectured the farmer about his speed and the necessity of obeying laws made by his superiors, and in general threw his weight around. Finally, he got around to writing the…

A man was reported to have said: “Nikolay is a moron!” and was arrested by the policeman. “No, sir, I meant not our respected Emperor, but another Nikolay!” – “Don’t try to trick me: if you say “moron”, you obviously refer to our tsar”.

Recently, Germans conducted some scientific exploration involving their best men. Core drilling samples were taken to a depth of 50 metres, and during these examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that 25,000 years ago, ancient Germans had a nationwide telephone network. The…

One old bolshevik says to another: “No my friend, we will not live long enough to see communism, but our children… poor children.”

Dick Cheney had a problem. He was been sued for 200 million dollars. He asks everyjoke in the West Wing for advice. However, only President Bush has any good advice: ” Why don’t you take them hunting?”

The teacher asks in school: “What is the most important thing in socialism?” The students consider and little Fritz (Fritzchen) answers: “The most important thing in socialism is the human!” The teacher: “That is a good answer, Fritzchen. I will give you a B-grade.” Fritzchen is dissatisfied and responds emphatically: “Would you maybe give me…

Stalin’s ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country. Stalin says, “Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue.” “Why blue?” Putin asks. “Ha!” says Stalin. “I knew you wouldn’t ask me about the first part.”

“My wife has been going to cooking school for three years.” / “She must really cook well by now!” / “No, they’ve only reached the part about the Twentieth CPSU Congress so far.”

When is a pencil not a pencil? When it’s on a Pentagon shopping list – then it’s a “portable hand-held communications inscriber”, says a Republican senator.