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Dick Cheney had a problem. He was been sued for 200 million dollars. He asks everyjoke in the West Wing for advice. However, only President Bush has any good advice: ” Why don’t you take them hunting?”

The teacher asks in school: “What is the most important thing in socialism?” The students consider and little Fritz (Fritzchen) answers: “The most important thing in socialism is the human!” The teacher: “That is a good answer, Fritzchen. I will give you a B-grade.” Fritzchen is dissatisfied and responds emphatically: “Would you maybe give me…

Stalin’s ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country. Stalin says, “Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue.” “Why blue?” Putin asks. “Ha!” says Stalin. “I knew you wouldn’t ask me about the first part.”

“My wife has been going to cooking school for three years.” / “She must really cook well by now!” / “No, they’ve only reached the part about the Twentieth CPSU Congress so far.”

When is a pencil not a pencil? When it’s on a Pentagon shopping list – then it’s a “portable hand-held communications inscriber”, says a Republican senator.

In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the Party finds you. In America, you listen to man on radio. In Soviet Russia, man on radio listen to you. In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you.

The winter’s passed, The summer’s here. For this we thank Our party dear!

Real Quotes By George Bush: This is my maiden voyage. My first speech since I was the president of the United States and I couldn’t think of a better place to give it than Calgary, Canada.” – George W. Bush, as reported by the Associated Press, Calgary, Canada, March 17, 2009. “I’m going to put…

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That’s what I want to know. Condi: That’s what I’m telling you. George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who…

It is amazing how politicians can fit all their good points in a 30 second TV commercial.

What is Bill’s definition of safe sex? When Hillary is out of town.

Alaska • A law in Fairbanks does not allow moose to have sex on city streets. (O_o) • Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear for photo opportunities. (is shooting waking?) • Fairbanks: It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. (but…