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Dubya Quotes “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” …George W. Bush “Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.” …Governor George W. Bush “Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.” …Governor George W. Bush “Mars is essentially in the same orbit…Mars is somewhat the same distance from…

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. “Where have you been?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?” “It’s…

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident; I reattached them, and eight months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.” One of the others said, “That’s…

Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, “Want coffee.” The waiter says, “Sure, Chief, coming right up.” He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the…

Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something, suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpired shouts. “No, Mr. President! I said, ‘Throw the first PITCH!’”

Abraham Lincoln, Bill Clinton, and George Washington were all on an airplane looking out the door. George Washington says, ” I’m going to make somejoke happy” then throws a $20 out of the plane. Bill Clinton says, “I’m going to make two people happy” then throws 2 $20’s out of the plane. Abraham Lincoln says…

Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Since he lost his job five years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one. All…

2. Australia Version A recent survey in Australia asked the following question: Are there too many foreigners in this country now? Answer: 18% said: YES 82% said: معهد الأمن العالمي بوا! شن

“Have you heard it? Brezhnev died!” / “What happened, heart attack?” / “No, short-circuit of eyebrows.”

A west-german boy to a ddr-boy: Why is the banana curved? The ossie replies: Why, is this curved? (old Hungarian joke)

The phone rings, Brezhnev picks up the phone: “Hello, this is dear Leonid Ilyich…”.

This is seriously strange. If you vote, don’t vote because it offends you, just view it as sarcastic. If this being sarcastic offends you, view it as serious. I refuse to tell which way I think about it. If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he…