oneliners

What kind of sign does a prostitute hang on her door when she goes on vacation? “GO SCREW YOURSELF!”

Q: Why do women fart less than men? A: Because they won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Few women admit their age, Few men act theirs.

Never take life seriously. Nojoke gets out alive anyway.

Did you ever notice that a lot of people will do just about anything to get attention? Like putting jokes up on a website! P.S I love Wocka.

Found in micellaneous things. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you. I don’t have a short attention span, it’s just that I- Etc.:a sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely. If your dog is fat, you’re not…

Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

The best things in life are free and the worst things in life cost only $19.95.

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die from natural causes. 2. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!