oneliners

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea…”

Q)Where do eskimo pigs live? A)In a pigloo.

No, of course it isn’t.

Just when you are finally happy with your life and eveything going on in your life…. You get married and ruin it!

I don’t know much about prison, but it sounds like a pain in the ass.

An active message board with hundreds of topics in which to participate.

Not to worry: the man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

D.A.R.E. sadly doesn’t stand for Drugs Are Really Excellent.

Sign seen on a maternity-ward door: Push! Push! Push!

live long (die late)