oneliners

Ghost Stories by I.C. Spooks Rocket to the sun by R.U.Nuts Your Book of Glamour by Q.T Pie The Camel Ride by Major Bum – issore How to Grow Shorter by Neil Down How to Grow Taller by Stan Dup

Never ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

LOVE: A word involving four letters, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots. It refers to a disease that can be cured by marriage. ARCHITECT: A guy not “macho” enough to be an engineer and not queer enough to be an interior designer. TO DANCE: It refers to the vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.…

Men who walk in front of car get tired. Men who walk in back of car get exhausted.

What did the number 0 say to the number 8? “Hey, nice belt!”

What did the tornado say to the pecan tree? “Hold onto your nuts, this is not your average blow job!” What has four hands and eats aunts? Two uncles. What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? Usually an onion with long ears, but sometime you get a piece of ass…

I recently went to my 30th class reunion from nursery school. I didn’t want to go because I’ve put on maybe 90 or 100 pounds since then.

Hey! Football team! Get off the band field!

Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job ? A. After 5 years your job will still suck.

Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?? V V V V V V V V V V V V V V He loved it, but it scared the heck out of his dog.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can’t hear an enzyme!