oneliners

Why are Democrats better than Republicans in bed? You’ve never heard of getting a good piece of elephant, have you?

You know that you’re a really boring person when someone steals your identity and then tries to give it back.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear,…

Why do Gynecologists retire at a younger age that other doctors? They get tunnel vision!

Beauty is only a light switch away

I bought a book called “How to Hug,” and when I got it home, found it was volume 7 of an encyclopedia. I phoned the gym, and asked if they could teach me to do the splits. The girl asked if I was flexible, and I said I couldn’t do Tuesdays.

It’s impossible to be a participant in the march of time and not get a few blisters.

The Lazy Bowl Reclining toilet: It’s plush while you flush!

“What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?” “I don’t know; and I couldn’t care less.”

The Chinese say: Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.

where one places dirty dishes (in the sink)

In favour of youth. (pro-teen)