oneliners

If a guy is a “chick magnet”, and opposites attract, doesn’t that make him gay?

What is another word for Thesaurus?

JUDGE: “The court can produce a dozen witnesses who saw you rob the bank.” ROBBER: “Big deal! I can bring in hundreds of people who didn’t see it!”

You know you’re ghetto when you carry food stamps in a money clip!

Homework… something you go to school hours for and not do.

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste!

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

What do you call a herd of white people? Avalanche What do you call a herd of black people? Mudslide What do you call a herd of mexicans? Jailbreak!

Here is some random advice to make you smile… MEN have 2 heads and WOMEN have 4 lips. The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile… If you have sex 365 times a year, and if you melted down all of the condoms to…

Q: What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist? A: Someone who is at two with the universe.