oneliners

Dyslexia: it can warn without striking! Give and you might receive. Take and be sure of it. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. I’m in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don’t Walk. Jealousy is all the fun you think they have. Originality is the…

Q: What do you get when a rooster crosses a duck? A: A bird that gets up at the quack of dawn!

Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how many lightbulbs need changing.

A person soon learns how little he knows when a child begins to ask questions.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved

Did you hear about the inexperienced terrorist who tried to blow up a bus? He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe.

Seen on a bumper sticker: “I don’t care who’s on board, what you love, who you brake for or what you’d rather be doing.”

Normal people believe that “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Engineers believe that “If it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet”

Q: What does Donald Trump say before he lights off a fire work? A:You`re fired!

Dogs crawl under fences…Software crawls under Windows95.

“AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY.” -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher “WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND.” -US Marine Corps “CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND.” -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop. “IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU.” -Infantry Journal…