oneliners
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Connie Francis (1959)
in JokesLipstick; (noun) On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!
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Old and New Sayings
in JokesI am sure everyone has heard the saying “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Well, I have improved on this saying so that it applies to my life, and here it is. “If it ain’t broke, it ain’t ours!”
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Actual Headlines (2)
in JokesNever Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One War Dims Hope for Peace Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Deer Kill 17,000 Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut…
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Discovering Oneself
in JokesI use to feel like I was a man trapped in a woman’s joke, but then I was born.
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Michael Jackson and Speed Racer
in JokesWhat do Michael Jackson and Speed Racer have in common? They both have a monkey and a small boy in their trunk.
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5 Short Jokes
in JokesQ: Where do nudists go fishing? A: Moon River. Q: What do you call a singing hot dog in New York, New York? A: Frank Sinatra. Q: What do you call a really smart cow? A: Grade A beef. Q: What song do they play at plumbers’ funerals? A: Taps. Q: Where do you take…
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Make A Wish
in JokesWe have all wished for something, but think about this: Hold out your hands, wish in one, and crap in the other. Which hand do you think will get filled up first?