oneliners

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who can do binary and those who can’t.

If you don’t like my driving, stay out of the bus shelters!

I have a map of the world… its actual size.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Silence is golden, because you never have to explain something you didn’t say.

Overall, I’d say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

Old photographers never die, they just go out of focus!

The perfect climate is in bed.

– The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna. – Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines. – Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony. – All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants. – Young scholars have…

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.