oneliners

Have you ever heard of the Gay Mafia? No? If you don’t pay up, they come round your house, and criticize your curtains!

DNA, national dyslexic association

TV, Movies, Music, Books…

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.

How do we look at a calendar to find what date it is, when we don’t know the date?

You don’t have to go faster than the bear, you just have to go faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Why should you never play poker in the jungle? -because there are too many cheatahs!!

Why isn’t there a tax on stuff I DON’T like?

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

DOCTOR: “Do you smoke or drink?” PATIENT: “I didn’t know I had a choice.”

what happened to the lost boy? he came to a house and wrote a joke that was exactly like this except in larger font and with a little more umph ya know what i mean a very humerous joke in fact i do believe he is working on more ya know i lied i ain’t…