oneliners

Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho ho ho.

Blind Hookers eh? You’ve got to hand it to them.

Actual Newspaper Headline: Kids Make Great Snacks For Teachers.

“Madame,” said the psychiatrist, “you haven’t got a complex; you ARE inferior.”

Join the fight against brutality.

What’s an innunedo? An Italian hemorrhoid prepareation. What do you call a good looking girl on the campus of Clemson University? A visitor. Iraq, a good place to take a shiite. New rules for poker in Los Angeles — four clubs beat a king. Why are all dumb blonde jokes oneliners? So men can understand…

An elderly couple was attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, ‘I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do? He replies, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’

Cinfuscious says : It is nice to meet a woman in the park but is better to park meat in a woman.

Team has no “I” in it, but it does have a “M” and “E” in it, making “me”.

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say, “How to Build a Boat”. – Steven Wright.

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool a Mom.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine