oneliners

Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

No matter what happens, there is always somejoke who knew that it would.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap!

Did you know that 61.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot?

“No one dies a virgin, life screws us all!”

You might be a teacher if you have an overwhelming urge to nod and say, “Now I understand why your kid is the way he/she is,” after meeting the parents.

The bumper sticker of a proud parent read: MY SON WAS INMATE OF THE MONTH

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

Where people wait for buses. (the-bus-station)

What’s a specimen? An Italian astronaut!