oneliners

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Conserve water. Shower with a friend.

I’m so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

Q – What do barbed wire and a thong have in common? A – Both protect the property, but neither obstruct the view.

Quick – Cheap – Good Pick 2. – Dennis Robertus.

If ham is Canadian bacon, then what the heck do you Canadians call bacon?

A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Banning the bra was a big flop. Sea captains don’t like crew cuts. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? A successful diet is the triumph…

A wise man once said. I Don’t know ask A Girl! A wise man Once Said. Life sucks and then we die.

What do you call a stupid garbage can? A Dumb-ster!

Some people say that I’m superficial, but that’s just on the surface.

Hygiene Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? Jose: Don’t bite any.

A fashionably dressed big cat (dandy lion)