oneliners

Ever since Rhianna got dumped by her boyfriend, she put all the stuff that was his or made her remember him she put : ” to the left to the left… in the box on the left…”

It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Why doesn’t the glue inside the bottle dry?

JCPenny blowdryer: do not use while sleeping ********** caution: hot chocolate may be hot **********

Her name was Virginia. They called her Virgin for short, but not for long!

Girl, “Oh, Superman I love you so much!” Superman,”I don’t blame you.”

Question: How long is a minute? Answer: That depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on!!

What is a pirate’s favourite branch of the military? The Arrrmy… no, the Navy, he’s a pirate!

If at first you don’t suceed…lower your standards!

Definition of alien-people from another country.

What do you call a black person that wants to be and acts just like Jackie Chan? Blackie Chan

My goal is to find a soulmate. It’s not cheating, just multi-tasking.