oneliners

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

In a recent survey, 4% of men preferred fat legs; 6% preferred skinny legs; while 90% preferred something in between.

Q. What’s the difference between a paycheck and your dick ? A. You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

They say one way to build character is to do things you don’t want to do. Every day I do two things I don’t want to do: I get out of bed in the morning and go to bed at night!

What do you do when you’re lonely on an Alaskan cruise? Answer: Go to the window and yell “whale”

Q: What’s a pick up line in a gay bar?? A: Would you like me to push your stool in?

Then there was the model who sat on a broken bottle and cut a good figure.

What did the cat say to the elephant? “………………….meOW!”

– “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence? – If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and drycleaners depressed? – Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as…

Get the last word in: Apologize.

There was a young hooker named Gail whose price was tattooed on her tail. And on her behind, for the sake of the blind, was the same information in Braille.

You know you’re addicted to wocka when your friends say something funny, and you cry out ”LOL, LOL” instead of actually laughing out loud.