oneliners

A guy walks into a bar wearing a pair of jumper cables around his neck. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey buddy, don’t try to start anything…”

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

I didn’t lose my mind, I just let it wander and it never came back. I miss it so much.

Legs is the word – spread the word.

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

How can you spot a happy motorcyclist? By the bugs in his teeth.

When I worked in the tourist industry in Florida, we got to wear some of the buttons that were for sale. My favorite read : We love serving tourists; I like mine well done!

There are two kinds of pedestrians — the quick and the dead.

First click the Community button. Then click the Public Fourum button. The first forum is for writing jokes. Discuss how to write funny jokes here.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day… Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Why does the bride always wear white? Because it’s good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.