oneliners

Did you know that 61.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot?

“No one dies a virgin, life screws us all!”

You might be a teacher if you have an overwhelming urge to nod and say, “Now I understand why your kid is the way he/she is,” after meeting the parents.

The bumper sticker of a proud parent read: MY SON WAS INMATE OF THE MONTH

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

Where people wait for buses. (the-bus-station)

What’s a specimen? An Italian astronaut!

Talk about anything you want here. O.K. I will. You really need to quit submitting jokes like this. Anyjoke agree with me?

Remember- There’s a light at the end of every tunnel… just hope it’s not a train!

Virginity is like a balloon. One prick and it’s gone!

I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.