oneliners

The Lazy Bowl Reclining toilet: It’s plush while you flush!

“What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?” “I don’t know; and I couldn’t care less.”

The Chinese say: Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.

where one places dirty dishes (in the sink)

In favour of youth. (pro-teen)

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who can do binary and those who can’t.

If you don’t like my driving, stay out of the bus shelters!

I have a map of the world… its actual size.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Silence is golden, because you never have to explain something you didn’t say.

Overall, I’d say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.