oneliners

Courdory pillows–they’re making headlines.

Why is marriage so much like a tornado? At first there is a lot of huffing and blowing, in the end someone loses their house.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!

What you call a man with no arms and no legs at a work-out place? Jim What you call a man with no arms and no legs at your door? Matt What you call a man with no arms and no legs in your bathroom? John What you call a man with no arms and…

The Lazy Boy, by Yu Doit

A guy walks into a bar wearing a pair of jumper cables around his neck. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey buddy, don’t try to start anything…”

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

I didn’t lose my mind, I just let it wander and it never came back. I miss it so much.

Legs is the word – spread the word.

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

How can you spot a happy motorcyclist? By the bugs in his teeth.

When I worked in the tourist industry in Florida, we got to wear some of the buttons that were for sale. My favorite read : We love serving tourists; I like mine well done!