oneliners

There are two kinds of pedestrians — the quick and the dead.

First click the Community button. Then click the Public Fourum button. The first forum is for writing jokes. Discuss how to write funny jokes here.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day… Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Why does the bride always wear white? Because it’s good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

Save a tree, eat a beaver!!

“Honk if you hate noise pollution!”

Hey! I recognize you! You’re the third one over on the evolutionary scale!

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

There are two rules for success in life: Rule 1 – Don’t tell people everything you know.

Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.

The best way to end a war is to surrender.