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A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his medical services. He was asked if he…

Locomotive: A crazy reason for a crime!

If we could shrink the earth’s population to a village of 100 people, with everything else remaining the same, it would look like this: There would be: * 57 Asians * 21 Europeans * 14 from the Western Hemisphere, * 8 Africans, * 52 would be female * 48 would be male * 70 would…

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door? Matt What do you call a guy with no arms or legs swimming? Bob What do you call a guy with no arms or legs water skiing? Skip

Warning – Please DO NOT look at the bottom of the page before you answer ALL the questions 1) What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2) What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3) What can you…

“Is there chicken in your vegetarian gumbo?” – Asked of a waitress. “Just the chicken.” The response a waitress gave when asked if there were any dairy products in a soup. “Would you like cream and sugar with that?” – Asked by a waitress when a customer specified orange juice instead of coffee as part…

A guy stopped at a local gas station. After filling his gas tank, hepaid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.…

Mr.Watt rang the phone at the residence of Mr.Knott. “Who’s calling?” asked Knott. “Watt.” “What is your name, please?” “Watt’s my name.” “That’s what I asked you. What’s your name?” “That’s what I told you. Watt’s my name.” A long pause, and then from Watt, “Is this James Brown?” “No, this is Knott.” “Please tell…

If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas…. MEXICAN… If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business, Yes, you’re a Mexican. If you pronounce words beginning with the letter “S” by putting an “E” in front of it, (estop instead of stop), big…

Acme Rope, Inc. – Knot your ordinary company. Acme Mine Shafts – Drop in any time Acme Lollipops – One lick and you’ll stick with us. Acme Light Company – We have lots of bright ideas. Acme Clown Make-up – Let us put a smile on your face. Acme Perfume Corp. – We love it…

Q:What do you call a Bass Clarinet player with half a brain? A: Gifted

During a high school break-in in Plymouth, North Carolina, two burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime. When they couldn’t figure out how to get the film out of the camera, they concluded it wasn’t loaded and left it behind. The…