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What do you get when you cross a cheetah with a hamburger? Fast food!

There were three Chinese men who were new to America. They went inside a telephone booth to make a call and they dialed the operator. The operator said i dont understand you, please call back when you know some english. So they were looking around and they heard someone say, “I did it! I did…

Last summer, my husband, Bill, took me camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. Bill tried the usual tactics to determine direction – moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast…

Eric A. barcia, a 22-year-old Reston, VA resident, was found dead yesterday after he used bungee cords to jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said. The fast food worker taped a number of bungee cords together and strapped one end around his foot. barcia had the foresight to anchor the other end to the…

Alabama: At Least We’re not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t be Wrong! Arizona: But It’s a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain’t Everthing California: As Seen on TV Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water Florida: Ask…

There were three prisoners who were about to be executed by the electric chair. The guards strapped down the first one, a Frenchman, onto the chair, and they asked him for his last words. “Vive la France!” he said, meaning ‘Long live France’. When they pulled the switch, nothing happened. Everyone was amazed and thought…

How To Annoy People In An Elevator: Ask, “Did you hear that cable snapping sound?” Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!” Hum the theme from Mission Impossible…

Q: What did the chicken say after it crossed the road? A: “Why is everyone always talking about me?”

Was there any doubt?

Which is heavier, 20 pounds of rocks or 20 pounds of sugar? Their both 20 pounds! doy!

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, “How’s the singing career going?” Stevie Wonder says, “Not too bad, the latest album’s gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it’s pretty good. By the way, how’s the golf?” Nicklaus replies, “Not too bad. I…

* You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. Ipledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer…