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There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a super market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, only half. The boy…

There are three men a plane; an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. When each of them flew over their country they dropped an item. When the plane flew over England, the Englishman dropped a rose; when the plane flew over Scotland, the Scotsman dropped a thistle, and finally, when the plane flew over Ireland,…

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift…

Back in the days of the Mattel Cabbage Patch Kid craze it was usually very hard to get one for the kiddies. A radio station (I don’t know where) announced that Mattel was going to get Cabbage Patch Kids out to the people of this particular city. The plan was that they had to go…

The farmer’s son was returning from the market, with the crate of chicken’s his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden, the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood, scooping up the wayward birds, and returning them to the…

“In Hillary Clinton’s new book ‘Living History,’ Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife. Then on page two, the trouble starts.” – Jay Leno

Can you decipher this phrase? Weather Cast Cast Cast Cast Weather forecast!

Dear brother, I smile because you are my brother. I laugh because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it!

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a local Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had…

What kind of key can’t open a door. A monkey

A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everyjoke complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. “Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.” The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep…