others

My wife and I were traveling on the Kansas Turnpike, bucking a 30 to 45 m.p.h. crosswind. At the tollbooth, I asked the attendant, “What do you people do in Kansas when the wind quits?” The tollbooth attendant didn’t miss a beat. She answered, “We take the rocks out of our pockets.”

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. “Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm,…

An actual headline: “Include Your Children When Baking Cookies”

“Two tone paint work” – Original color and rust. “One careful owner” – But the other nine were clumsy as anything. “10,000 trouble-free miles” – Crashed in the last 20 feet. “Heated rear window” – So you don’t get cold hands when push-starting the thing in winter. “Very clean” – Only washed if and when…

Good luck turns into bad luck when you call the credit card company to tell them they made a mistake on your bill….. and they agree because they didn’t charge you enough. Good luck turns into bad luck when the cutest boy rings you up…. then apologies because he dialed the wrong number.

The woman at the supermarket checkout was giving the clerk a hard time. As her audience in the waiting line increased, she became more abusive. Finally, the patient clerk came to a dog’s flea collar. The checker asked the customer if she was aware that the package had been opened. “Of course, I opened it,”…

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be…

In this age of political correctness we must reajust our terms. People are no longer concidered gay, here are two better options: Good: A wanabe transvestite Best: Heterosexually challenged.

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin’ mother-fuckers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anyjoke in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet and no one takes of…

somewhere in Calfornia, USA, there is a man who want to open up a business. So he decided to build a restaurant. On the grand opening day, he put a large sign: “BEST RESTAURANT IN CALIFORNIA”. And there’s another man do the same thing (make a new restaurant) close to the first man. He put…

What kind of cheese is not yours? Nacho cheese

You know we all have those moments and I’m going to share a few of them with you. At lunch I was going crazy looking for my purse. It was literally right in front of me…on the table. My friend across from me suddenly said “Where’s Tina?” She was sitting right next to her. I…