others

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t. 2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. The cemetary must be the best place on earth; people are dying to get in there. 4. Some people are only alive because it’s illegal…

What does playing the bagpipes and throwing a javelin blind-folded have in common? You don’t have to be very good at either to get a lot of peoples’ attention.

Q-If the big breasted women work at Hooters, where does the one legged woman work? A-Ihop

What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush!

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up…

Q1: What is red and goes tring tring tring? A1: tomato and the tring tring tring was to confuse you anyways. Here’s one more. Q2: What is red and goes tring tring tring? A2: The door bell and the red was to confuse you anyways. Here’s one more. Q3: What is red and goes tring…

“LEARNING CHINESE” That’s not right: Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive?: Hu Yu Hai Ding? See me ASAP: Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man: Dum Gai Small Horse: Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach?: Wai Yu So Tan? I bumped into a coffee table: Ai Bang Mai Ni I think…

After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on…

Starting from bottom to top, a short explanation of each joke parts uses 1. Toe-Object used for balance(do blondes and drunks have toes? Food for thought) 2. Foot-Place in mouth after saying something stupid 3. Shin-Object used for finding furniture in the dark. 4. Pelvic area-pretty self explanatory 5. stomache- stom ACHE… coincidence? I think…

One bright day in the middle of the night, 2 dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other, drew their knives, and shot each other. a deaf policeman heard the noise, and came to kill those two dead boys. if you don’t believe my stories true, ask the blind guy,…

There was a man who was getting ready to be hanged by the politicians of Aaronztown City. The only way he could ignore death was to convince the mayor to make the politicians change their mind. So he did. “Hello Mayor Green, I am here to discuss important matter.” “Okay. Very well. Do you want…

When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowling team.