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If rock is wet, it is raining. If rock is green, it rained a while ago. If rock is white, it is snowing. If rock is shaking, there is an earthquake. If rock is dry, the weather is fair. If rock is swinging, it’s windy. If rock is warm, the sun is out. If rock…

You Know You’re Addicted to AIM When… 1.) Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome 2.) You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences… 3.) You’re pissed off your buddy list can only hold 200 screen names. 4.) You begin to say hehehe instead of laughing. 5.) You can now type over 70 words…

Two muffins were sitting next to each other, in an oven, as they were being cooked. One muffin turned to the other muffin, and said, “Man, it’s hot in here.” Then the other muffin turned to the first muffin and screamed, “AHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

a = b, b = c, a = c. Math Teacher: If a = b and b = c then a = c. Now give me the practical example of this principle from real life. Student: I love you, sir, and you love your daughter, which means I love your daughter.

The big list of fun stuff to do in that boring ol’ courtroom of law… 1. Bring a cell phone and order a pizza when the judge starts talking. 2. Bring a zip-lock bag full of grapes and launch a few at the defendant when the judge isn’t looking. 3. Giggle uncontrollably when they show…

“Daddy, there’s a man knocking on the door with a beard!” “No wonder I didn’t hear him!”

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and…

A guy goes up to his best friend and says, “Dude, I need you to do something for me, no questions asked.” “Okay,” says the friend. “What is it?” “I said no questions!”

According to the Knight-Rider News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: “Wash. Biol. Surv.” until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: “Dear…

The Armenian Radio was asked: “Is it good to have sex with an open window?” The Armenian Radio answers: “Yes, but with a woman it is better.”

A Scottish Presbyterian is rescued after many years on a desert island. As he stands on the deck of the rescuing vessel, the captain says to him, “I thought you were stranded alone. How come I can see three huts on the beach?” – “Well,” replies the castaway, “that one there is my house and…

Chuck Norris has more Myspace friends than Tom. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to…