others

  • KCAB KCAB

    Can you decipher this phrase? KCAB KCAB Back to back: [i.e. two back(s) – written back(wards)]

  • Sex Over Easy

    These two eggs had just been married and were on their honeymoon. While they were sitting on the bed making out, the female egg pushed the male egg away and said, “I just have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a minute.” and off she went. Five minutes later, the male egg…

  • Farm Life

    A farmer and his son live on a farm in the middle of Nowhere, USA. One day the farmboy says to his father, “I’m bored.” His father replies, “What are you talking about? Farm life is great!” He then adds, “However, I will admit, it is a little slow though. Nothing much to do except…

  • Coming Out

    A 15-year-old boy discovered, having supressed it for years, that he was a homosexual. After gathering courage, he decided to tell his father. He entered the living room where his father sat, reading the newspaper. Reluctantly, he said, “Dad?…” His father looked up. “Yes, son?” “Dad…”, the boy stopped for a second, “I’m… I’m gay.”…

  • It’s The Law II

    Washington: All lollipops are banned. A law to reduce crime states: “It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town. In King County, in Seattle Washington, it is illegal to sit on a man’s lap on a…

  • The Actor

    I had a part in the local repertory company’s Shakespeare week, and was allocated the dressing room that was next to the large room shared by three of the actresses. One day, a friend of mine was visiting me when he drew my attention to the fact that there was a small hole in the…

  • Actual School Excuse Notes

    These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country: 1) My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3) Dear School: Please exscuse…

  • Soup Du Jour

    An old man goes to a diner every day for lunch. He always orders the soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal. The old man replies, in a thick acccent, “Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread.” So the next day the manager tells the…

  • Things I’d Like to Hear, Just Once

    From a contractor: “Whoever worked on this before sure knew what he was doing.” “I think I came in a little high on that estimate.” From my dentist: “I think you’re flossing too much.” “I won’t ask you any questions until I take the pick out of your mouth.” From a restaurant server: “I think…

  • North & South

    What’s the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale? A northern fairy tale begins with, “Once upon a time…” A southern fairy tale begins, “‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this…”

  • Dr. Seuss’s Lost Tongue Twister

    See if you can do this: Read each line aloud This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is dumbass cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now…

  • Painting Shows it All

    At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. “What a great realist that painter is!” he exclaimed. “What painter?” “The one that painted this picture ‘Soldiers at Work’.” “Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren’t working at all!” “That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!”