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  • Seventy, Brawl, Clover, …

    Which word is the odd one out? seventy brawl clover proper carrot swing change travel sacred stone Carrot. Each of the other words remains a real word if you remove the first and last letter.

  • Visiting the Museum of Natural History

    The accountant was visiting the Museum of Natural History and said to the person standing next to him, “That dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old.” “How did you get such exact information?” “I was here ten months ago and the guide said the dinosaur was two billion years old.”

  • 19 Ways to Make People Think You are Insane

    1.(Of course) Laugh hysterically and for no reason. 2. Pretend you holding something like a small knife and swing at the air as if you are trying to cut something. If someone asks, say you were misinterpreted or deny the whole thing. 3. Wear headphones everywhere you go, leaving the plug dangling out, easily seen,…

  • Good Morrning

    In North England: ‘mornin’ In West England : How ya doin’ In India : Get up you lazy chit. Don’t you need to go to work ?

  • The Man Who Can’t Speak Clearly

    There once was a man who couldn’t speak correctly. He wanted to go buy some stuff for his wife. First, he needed to buy a bucket. “Excuse me sir, can I buy a fuck-it?” the man asked. The clerk said, “You mean a bucket?” “Yes, that’s what I said, a fuck-it.” While the man was…

  • A Man

    A man walked into a bar… and it hurt!

  • Birds Fly

    What bird can’t fly as high as you can jump? A bird in a cage.

  • Without Warning

    An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, “Operator, giff me beck the party!” She says, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to make the call all over again.” He says, “What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.” She…

  • Tank Song

    Into town I drove my tank, I was gonna rob a bank. My money was running really low, As I got near I shouted “bank ho!” Drove a hole right through the wall, Found I was in a shoppin’ mall. I ‘poligized’n left through the hole. I was definitely not on a roll. I snuck…

  • Facts II

    When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year. The Bible has been translated into Klingon. Ten percent of the Russian government’s income comes from the sale of vodka. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more…

  • Harry Potter and His Magic Wang

    Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book Let’s see the results . . . “Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry. “Oh, well – I was at Hogwarts meself but I – er – got expelled, ter tell yeh the…

  • Gee, Darling

    There once was a girl from Darjeeling, Who could dance with exquisite feeling, There wasn’t a sound For miles around, Except fly buttons hitting the ceiling!